Throughout my childhood, my parents were extremely busy. My mother, caught between work and household responsibilities, often left my care to my father. Yet, he rarely took on that role. Instead, he unapologetically told my mother he couldn't raise me. For him, marriage seemed to provide a sense of home, but it was a home devoid of warmth. Though he was frequently at home, he neither worked nor contributed to household chores. My mother, meanwhile, shouldered both work and household responsibilities. Their frequent arguments filled me with anxiety and fear.
To me, my father was someone absorbed entirely in his own world, often engrossed in novels—particularly romance novels. His mind seemed detached from responsibility, parental love, or care for his own parents or wife. His world appeared to be filled with a constant, unreal romantic fantasy. I remember distinctly him saying to my mother, ‘Why don’t you give me love?’ This statement repulsed me, as I felt it reflected his selfish and unrealistic view of relationships. Despite my mother’s many years of dedication, he remained ungrateful, failing to offer support or even emotional presence. Instead, he seemed content to have a wife who provided for him and a daughter who dutifully respected him, without any reciprocal responsibility.
This artwork, titled The Taste of Thoughts, encapsulates my impression of my father. He appears striking and appealing on the surface, like a ripe strawberry, but to me, he is hollow in his role as a father. Though alive, he feels emotionally absent, like a figure who has already faded away.
这件作品名为《思想的滋味》。画中那个草莓头形象代表我的父亲。这个创意最初源于一次随意的头脑风暴——我随手画了一个草莓头人像。但随着构思的深入，它逐渐成为父亲在我生命中存在（更准确说是缺席）的写照。
童年时期，父母总是异常忙碌。母亲奔波于工作与家务之间，常将照顾我的责任托付给父亲。但他几乎从未履行过这个角色，反而理直气壮地对母亲说"我养不了孩子"。对他而言，婚姻似乎只意味着一个家的外壳，却毫无温度。虽然长期居家，他既不工作也不分担家务，而母亲却要同时承担职场与家庭的重担。他们频繁的争吵让我充满焦虑与恐惧。
在我眼中，父亲完全活在自己的世界里，总是沉迷小说——尤其是爱情小说。他的思想似乎与责任、亲情、孝道或夫妻情谊毫无关联，始终沉浸在不切实际的浪漫幻想中。我清楚记得他对母亲说："你为什么不给我爱情？"这句话令我作呕，暴露出他自私而虚幻的情感观。尽管母亲多年付出，他始终毫无感激之情，既未提供实际支持，也缺乏情感陪伴。他似乎满足于拥有供养他的妻子和恭敬顺从的女儿，却不愿承担任何对等责任。
这幅《思想的滋味》凝结了我对父亲的印象。他外表光鲜诱人如成熟草莓，但作为父亲的角色却是空洞的。虽然活着，却如同早已消逝的影子，在情感上始终缺席。